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Pain Plus Reflection Equals Progress

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Our most painful moments are also our most important. Rather than run from pain, we need to identify it, accept it, and learn how to use it to better ourselves.


Our images of learning are filled with positive thoughts about how we learn from others. We read memoirs from the titans of industry, read op-ed pieces from thought leaders, and generally try to soak up as much as we can. With all this attention placed on learning and improving and knowing, it might surprise you that we’re missing one of the most obvious sources of learning: ourselves.

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Warning! Stay Out of the Waters of ‘Watch Me Swim’ Leadership

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Article Written by Scott Cochrane

Have you ever encountered a “Watch Me Swim” leader?

This is the person who insists on letting you know about every accomplishment they’ve achieved, no matter how small or insignificant. The attitude is very similar to the child splashing around the swimming pool, desperate for the grown-ups to notice their aquatic abilities.

For children in the pool it’s cute. For leaders, it’s a problem that can undermine their effectiveness because:

It appears self-serving
It erodes trust in followers
It diminishes respect among other more secure leaders

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How Hunger Pangs Can Make Nice People ‘Hangry’

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Article Written By:  Angus Chem @

Hunger can trigger cruel words from kind people.

A starved dog lover might fantasize about punting the neighbor’s Chihuahua that just will not shut up. A puckish but otherwise nice person might snap at a friend, “Bring me the freaking cheesesteak before I flip this TABLE!”

They are, in a word, “hangry,” or irrationally irritable, upset or angry because of hunger. But how hunger turns into hangriness is a mystery, says Jennifer MacCormack, a doctoral candidate at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill in psychology and neuroscience, who wanted to understand the phenomenon. “The mechanism isn’t clear on how [hunger] affects your emotions or the exact emotional processes,” she says.

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Accentuate the Positive!

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Article Written By:  Julie Winkle Giulioni @

Today’s managers shoulder the significant responsibility of delivering individual and organizational performance, and doing so in a fast-changing environment.

For many, accomplishing this mission involves sophisticated monitoring systems that provide real-time data about how results are tracking against goals, with a focus typically upon when the mark is being missed. Many leaders have become masters at minding the gap, evaluating the delta and assessing the shortfall. They then develop improvement plans, take corrective action and offer constructive feedback to those involved. Sound familiar?

In most organizations, considerable energy and attention are invested in what’s off track as opposed to what’s working well. Perhaps it’s time to turn this upside down and heed the advice of the old 1940s song “Accentuate the Positive”:

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How to Improve Your Memory, According to Neuroscience

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Article Written by:  Sarah Digiulo,

Mental tricks like “memory palaces” and mnemonics can actually help make memories stick.

If you really want to remember something, your best bet is trying to connect it to some other part of your life or a topic you already know.


Why is it that you can perfectly recite the words to *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye,” but can’t remember the title of the new TV show you started watching on Netflix and wanted to tell your coworker about?

We remember things because they either stand out, they relate to and can easily be integrated in our existing knowledge base, or it’s something we retrieve, recount or use repeatedly over time, explains Sean Kang, PhD, assistant professor in the Department of Education at Dartmouth College, whose research focuses on the cognitive psychology of learning and memory. “The average layperson trying to learn nuclear physics for the first time, for example, will probably find it very difficult to retain that information.” That’s because he or she likely doesn’t have existing knowledge in their brain to connect that new information to.

And on a molecular level neuroscientists suspect that there’s actually a physical process that needs to be completed to form a memory — and us not remembering something is a result of that not happening, explains Blake Richards, DPhil, assistant professor in the Department of Biological Sciences and Fellow at the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research.

In the same way that when you store a grocery list on a piece of paper, you are making a physical change to that paper by writing words down, or when you store a file on a computer, you’re making a physical change somewhere in the magnetization of some part of your hard drive — a physical change happens in your brain when you store a memory or new information.

“So the ultimate question, at the cellular level, as to whether or not a memory gets stored [in the brain] is does that process actually complete properly,” he explains. “Do all of the molecular signals get transmitted to ensure that that cell changes physically?”

So there are strategies for better organizing what may at first glance appear to be unrelated information to connect it to what we already know to help us better remember things, according to Kang and others. But as far as changing the physical processes in the brain that make memories stick, there’s likely not much you can do now to affect that, Richards says.

And that’s probably a good thing, he adds.

In a recent paper, Richards and his colleague Paul Frankland, PhD, senior scientist at The Hospital for Sick Children and Fellow at the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research, looked at previous studies that have investigated the physical changes in the brain associated with memory — and why sometimes that process completes and sometimes it does not. “We found that there’s a variety of mechanisms the brain uses — and actually invests energy in — that undo and override those connections, ultimately cause us to forget information,” Richards says.

And that would mean that some “forgetting” is actually a very natural and normal process, rather than a “failure” of our memory, Richards says. “Our brains may want us to remember the gist of what we’ve experienced because that will be most adaptive for making decisions in the real world.”

For example, let’s say you remember a friend’s phone number, but that friend moves away and gets a new phone number. Remembering the old number becomes useless and may make it more difficult to remember your friend’s new number.

“It’s not the case that as much forgetting as possible is good, obviously,” he says. “But at the same time it may not be the case that as much remembering as possible is always the best course either.”

Sure, some of what determines how well you remember things are the genes you’re born with, Kang says. But training can definitely plays a role in memory, as is the case for people who compete in memory competitions, he adds. “No one suddenly wakes up one day being able to memorize 60,000 digits of Pi.”

If you want to hone your own skills (whether that’s for memorizing Pi or better remembering names or facts), here’s what might help:

Decades of research support the fact that sleep is a critical time when memories consolidate and get stored. And that means missing out on sleep — or high enough quality sleep — can compromise some of those processes. The National Sleep Foundation recommends getting between seven and nine hours of sleep each night for optimal health and brain function.

What is exercise not good for? It’s important for your heart, your mood, your sleep and your mind, particularly the part of your mind involved in memory. In one study in middle-age women with early signs of memory loss, starting a program of regular aerobic exercise actually increased the size of the hippocampus (a part of the brain known to be involved in the memory storing process) and improved verbal memory and learning scores when the women were tested.

And a new 2018 guideline from the American Academy of Neurology recommends regular exercise as one of the things people with mild memory problems should do to help stop those problems from getting worse or turn into serious neurological disorders like Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia.

Psychologists and others call this one the spacing effect. The idea is that the more you re-learn or remind yourself of information again and again spaced out over time the better you’ll retain that information.

Perhaps you first learn about an Olympic figure skater’s difficult upbringing watching a news clip about his story; then a day or so later you read an article about that same skater; and then a few days later a coworker starts telling you about the same figure’s skater story. Repetition helps make that story stick in your head — and so does the fact that you re-learned that information on different days in multiple different settings, Kang explains. (Multiple studies show that there is indeed merit in this approach.)

“The richer the contextual details associated with a particular memory, the greater the number of possible cues that could be helpful in evoking the memory later,” Kang says.

People often think testing is useful because it tells you what you know and what you don’t. But the more important power of testing is giving you practice retrieving information you’ve learned and establishing that connection in the brain, explains Rosalind Potts, PhD, teaching fellow at the University College London, who researches how cognitive psychology applies to education.

For example, in one study that tested a group of students on new information they had learned one week earlier, students who were also tested on the new information immediately after learning it outperformed students who were simply instructed to study the information on the test they all took one week later.

Some say this approach dates back to ancient Latin scholars, but it’s also been proven in much more recent literature to work. The idea is if you want to remember something, such as a shopping list or a code, you visualize those items or numbers in different rooms of your house (or some other physical place you are very familiar with).

The “memory palace” approach (also called the “Method of Loci”) has been studied extensively in psychology. Research shows it can be more valuable in terms of remembering than having more intellectual capabilities in the first place, and that it can be more effective for remembering than straightforward repetition and memorization.

It’s easier to remember things that relate to knowledge we already have because we connect it to what we already have stored in our memory, Potts says. That’s why mnemonic devices work — they create a bridge between two pieces of information.

“So when we want to call that memory to mind, there are lots of different possible routes to it,” she says.

If you want to remember the meaning of the Spanish word “zumo” (“juice” in English), you might conjure up an image in your head of a sumo wrestler drinking juice. When you hear the word “zumo,” you might then think of that sumo wrestler drinking his juice and remember the meaning of the word.

Sure, it’s obvious. But concentration is important if you’re trying to learn something, Kang says. “If you don’t pay much attention to the information, the likelihood you encode that in your long-term memory is low.”

For example, he says, how many Americans could accurately draw the details of the dollar bill, even though they likely look at it all the time?

Based on the neuroscience explanation of how memory works, if you really want to remember something, your best bet is trying to connect it to some other part of your life or a topic you already know, Richards adds. “Figure out some other facet of life why it’s relevant — and use it.”

Top 5 Most Attractive Employee Benefits

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Article Written By:  Gretchen Smitson @

Workers prefer benefits
Over the past decade, power within the job market has shifted from employers to candidates. This change in the recruitment ecosystem has led employers to take a deeper look at the benefits available to employees. Rather than simply offering increased wages, employers are increasingly offering unique benefit packages that reflect company culture and employee preferences.

Here are the 5 most attractive employee benefits according to Harvard Business Review:

1. Benefits health, dental, and vision insurance

While non-insurance benefits are gaining in popularity, health, dental, and vision insurance remain the most popular employee benefit. In fact, 88% of workers surveyed reported that they would consider or heavily consider a position with good insurance options for these three segments.

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Strategies For Dealing With Defensive Employees

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June 14, 2018
Feedback is wasted on Mr. Defensive. He closes his mind to anything that feels threatening.

The chronically defensive can’t benefit from helpful suggestions or constructive feedback.

Strategies of Mr. Defensive:

The moment you bring up an uncomfortable issue, Mr. Defensive:

Has a reason or excuse why things didn’t work out.

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Communicate clearly and openly

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Article Written by:  Naphtali Hoff,

All leaders need to communicate clearly and openly. But strong communication is particularly important for those who lead understaffed teams. And great communication starts with great listening.

In your conversations, focus mainly on listening rather than speaking. This will open up the communication lines and deepen trust.

You may think that you are communicating well. I did, too. But the only way to know for sure is to ask.

Start with this simple question: Overall, how would you rate my/our internal communication?

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What Meetings Do People Want to Attend? Design an Experience.

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Article Written by Jon Metz,

Meetings happen every workday. For some, the number of meetings on their daily schedule is a new badge of honor. It is a bragging point – “My day is filled with back-to-back-to-back meetings.” Meetings are sign of false productivity, yet we keep adding them to our schedule as if we are paid by the number of meetings held.

Think of all the type of meetings we have in a given day:

When we think of meetings, certain emotions (or fears) arise from participants. Think about it:
Dread – “Here we go again.”
Frustrated – “We never make a decision that sticks.”
Déjà vu – “Didn’t we meet on this last week?”
Fruitless – “That was a waste of two hours!”
We need to meet. We just need to meet in better ways.

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You’re Going to Flub that Joke in Your Presentation. Try This Instead

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Article written by:  Anett Grant,

You’ve probably heard the advice that you should start your presentation with a joke. It breaks the ice, right? But unless you’re a talented comedian, you might end up ruining your talk. Here are four reasons why using humor in your speech–not just as an icebreaker to kick things off, but at any point in your talk–can be a recipe for trouble, and what to do instead.

If your audience isn’t prepared for your joke, it’s going to fall flat. They need to be ready to laugh. Even the best stand-up comedians have warm-up acts that come on stage first to prime the audience. As Michael Grothaus previously wrote in Fast Company, speakers who drop jokes out of the blue usually fail. “It’s because doing so comes off as trying too hard–the humor equivalent of a nervous tick.”

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